Thoughts On Life

This Could Have Been Me.

Our 7 day trip to visit Steve’s folks in Honduras gave me so many new thoughts to process.

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One evening, my mother -in -law invited the new 28 yr old neighbor boy to stay for supper. We all gathered round the brightly lit kitchen table and thanked God for the food. Then we chatted and laughed as the bowls passed from hand to hand, and everyone helped themselves.

The Boy sat at the end of the table, hands clasped politely, securely in his lap. He did not reach for the serving bowl when it came to him. We all continued spooning our food out and pretended not to notice as Tim, sitting just around the corner from him,asked him if he would like some vegetables. He sat silently, nodding or shaking his head as each dish passed him. When the food had all been around, he gently raised his hands, took up his fork, and began to eat. Later, when the fruit and cake were passed around, I dared to glance fleetingly his way. Once again, he sat with his hands tucked securely under the table. But his face lit up like a child in a candy shop when Tim reached a piece of cake onto his place. I hope I never forget that smile. And that sheepish delight over a piece of cake.

We went to visit him in his quarters. Then I understood. His mother had abandoned him years ago. He had no home but a neighbor had allowed him to use one of their shacks for a shelter.

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Termites were eating away at the wood, and the roof leaked awfully. It was just barely better then nothing.

When he first came into the area, looking for work, he was not a Christian. One night, during the cold rains that soak Honduras in rainy season, he found his way to the mission house and asked if they have an extra board. He needed it for his bed, since the water was flooding his board “bed” he had in his ‘house’.

Imagine! Not a blanket or mattress. Simply an extra board for the night.

They gave him a board and took a thick foam and sheet along for him as well.

Now this is his bed. And his home.

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The rain still leaks through the roof onto his bed.

But that cannot dim the love of God he accepted into his heart. His whole countenance changed! He works at the mission now, and has bought himself a few new clothing articles.

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He learned to cook rice from my mother in law. He took us behind his house to see his kitchen.

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He is working toward a new life. And the hope he has in God burns in him and he’s learning to read.

And this is only one of the hundreds and thousands in the world that have so little. And I think of Almighty God , high above the Earth, looking down, and placing me in America. And him in a field in Honduras.

I have so much! Summer and winter clothing. ‘Every day’ and ‘company’ dishes. Hot showers and pairs of shoes. Boots and flip flops and a soft bed and piles of blankets and a washer and dryer. Fans and umbrellas and a van to travel in.

It doesn’t seem fair at all. Then I remember- it’s all about God and eternity! And His Love and Mercy reach down and embrace all types of hearts and saves souls from gutters to palaces!

And in Heaven-we will all praise Him together and we will all be more blessed then the billioniest billionaire!! And it all started at the Cross.

And just a few more pictures to make you so thankful for our simple American pleasures.

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A junk yard in the middle of town.

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Laundry drying brightly on the topmost level of apartment complexes.

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These people live just outside the garbage dump. They make their homes from other folks trash.

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Children grow up here.

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In the corner of the busy city in mid morning.

This could be me.

Mom Life · Uncategorized

The Marvelous Diaper

Today was Kobe’s 18 month appointment with the Dr. I was in a big rush as I grabbed him, his drink, my bag, a huge pillow for the laundromat, soap for the pillow, water for me. I headed out the door with a quick goodbye to my husband who was so kindly watching Kierra for me.

It wasn’t until we were in the waiting room, looking at Dr. Suess and waiting for the nurse’s call that I smelled that suspicious scent.  I heard the little grunt and watched the face scrunch up and I reached for my bag and Kobe’s hand to head off for a diaper change. We entered the small cold floored bathroom with  portable handicap rails around the toilet and glanced around. There was no changing station. And at the same time, I realized there was no pamper in my bag. I had my small bag today since it was just Kobe and I, but even then, I searched it nearly four times, before I convinced myself that I could not make a diaper appear.

So we cheerfully headed out to the van. I remembered putting a stash under the seat just the other week. Just our luck! Under the seat was empty. There was no pamper in the glove compartment or under the other seat or in Kierra’s chair or floating around among the stuff behind the passenger seat.

So we hopefully headed back to the office, and I tried to act charming and OK as I asked the nurse if they would by any possibility have a pamper on hand.

This is a Family Doctor’s office and I have personally only seen 3 people under 50 yr. there as patients I believe.

She searched here and there and I heard the word ‘nappy’ and tried to recall if they actually used to call pampers by that name.

No luck.

We had waited nearly half an hour now, and no way was I about to lose my slot in line by running to the grocery store for a PAMPER!!

So we headed back to the bathroom, and I began undressing Kobe without a very good idea of what to do next.(besides getting rid of that awful odor!)  The only usable items I could find in the bathroom were white stiff prefolded paper towels and plastic trash bags. So I grabbed a stack of towels, folded them around him like a diaper, and quickly pulled his shorts up for rubber pants. Only they weren’t rubber. So We took a big black trashbag and returned to the waiting room and he sat nicely on my lap and browsed my Kindle as we waited some more. This might just work! I thought. (Thank God for Kindles!)

Eventially, we made it back to the room, and the nurse chuckled abit and began taking down general information as Kobe peed  through the stack of paper towels, through his shorts, down his legs, and off of the trash bag.

She suggested that I use one of those blue water proof disposable pads that you find on scales and changing tables in Doctor’s offices. So I gratefully accepted one and was stuck with the problem of HOW to keep it ON!!!???

Maybe growing up on a farm and watching my Dad improvise was in my favor. If i pulled hard enough and Kobe held still long enough, I could tie the two ends together on each side into a sort of knot.

It was actually kinda cute…minus the fact that it wasn’t very tight or leak proof! But it sure beat holding my breath at every turn and standing ready with a trash bag!

An hour and a half later, we exited the building. leaving behind 3 or 4? wetted pads, a peed on carpet (shhh! don’t tell! i seriously TRIED to clean it up with hand sanitizer and paper towels! i promise!). We took some souvenirs with us-  my peed on skirt, and Kobe’s peed shorts, (safely tucked in my now empty wipe container) .

I was THRILLED to get home!!! And Kobe was so worn out, he was off in LaLa Land and didn’t even mind when I put a proper diaper on him!

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Amazing how you improvise! And to think that thousands of children have no ‘nappy’ ..

Tonight I am thankful for diapers!

Special Kids

Oh No! Ulcer Issues :(

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Kierra has been so uncomfortable this week. She sobs and cries and writhes. It got so bad, she wouldn’t sleep in her crib anymore. She would toss and flail until she got stuck in the crib slats, or scooted to the bottom of her crib and got tangled.  So we resorted to the Big Daddy Recliner 🙂 She loves it so much, I think we will need to get her a small one all for herself!

 

(Any suggestions on what kind to get? 🙂

Nothing seemed to help her and I was getting VERY concerned! Then on Thursday, she gagged and I was even more concerned  to see brown mucus! Another call to the Dr. got me in to have her checked out on Friday. Sure enough, she had blood in her little belly, which is likely caused by an ulcer.

No wonder she was so uncomfortable! We made up a plan for her feeding, put her on a new medication, Carafate, to coat her intestines and hopefully help with the discomfort! Of course they took ran labs also, to check for infections and other med levels.

So now, we are trying to balance getting all her feeding into her that she needs in 24 hrs, and giving her the Carafate on an empty stomach, and a few hours apart from her reflux meds. Amazing how complicated something so simple like feeding can get!

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I made up a chart of times and meds and feedings so Steve and I wouldn’t get confused. (Thank God, he has a three day weekend this week!)

Today she is doing quite a bit better, although she still had a low fever.

We were planning to leave for Honduras in two weeks to visit Steve’s parents. We haven’t seen them in over a year, and it’s high time to get Kobe acquainted with them 🙂

The Dr. put her on this regimen for two weeks and says we will see how she’s doing by then, to decide what to do next…

Have any of you experienced stomach ulers? I have no idea what kind of pain she is feeling and how to comfort her…besides loving her up!

Please join us in praying for her healing!

Wishing you all a blessed Sunday!

 

Mom Life

Mommy’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day! What is better then watching the gentle sun transforming dewy green to soft hues of spring? And sipping Blueberry Bliss Tea in an old Currier and Ives tea cup? (especially after a night of  juggling between bed and crib! Thankfully, Steve stumbled through the dark a few times for me!)

In our scouting through yardsales the other week, I found this fat little tea pot for 75 cents! I planned to  brew loose leaf tea with no mess or worries. So when Steve walked in the other day with the most delightful Teavanna bag, I was wild with joy!  Every time I go to The Park City Mall, I stop by Teavanna to sample their aromatic brews and dream of fine cups in my house. Now my dreams were handed right to me in .  MMMM! Let the sipping begin.

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We found some Bay in Deleware today. It was a perfectly lovely day with my favorite people. I am so blessed!

Kobe showing Steve his dandelions…

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My two little punkins. Kobe picked some of his favorite dandelions for Kierra’s hair…

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My little girl that taught me more about mothering and love then I knew was possible… and still teaches me every day.

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The two guys that God has blessed me with who keep me laughing and love me even when i get REALLY Mama BEARISH.

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Mother’s Day is not at all what I expected it to be years ago.

#1. i don’t have it all figured out.

#2. it’s WAY more complex then it looks!

#3.  i still feel like a kid 🙂

#4. my family loves me and keeps pouring on the hugs and patience through it all.

#5. i think about  Mary (Jesus’ mother)

#6. i am Nothing without my Heavenly Father…(that part i think i knew…but somehow, being a mother made it all really real for me)

Have you had surprises being a mother?

And a great big hug and prayer for all those who long to be, and are not mothers today!! I think there should be a Lady’s Day also. It would rank right up there beside Mother’s Day!

DIY Projects · Kid's Fun

Modern Art and Fingerpaints

We had so much fun the other day! I found a simple recipe for water color paint that Kobe quickly turned into finger paint. We simply mixed these ingredients together, and spread out the layers of newspaper and nice heavy acrylic painting paper…

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3 tsp. corn syrup

6 T. cornstarch

6 T. baking soda

6 T. white vinegar

food coloring.

I mixed all the ingredients together, then divided it into muffin tins before adding the foods coloring. I was afraid the food coloring would stain the kids, but it washed off very well. This makes quite a bit of paint. I think I will stick with half batch next time!

ImageKobe was totally thrilled to be shirtless and artsy. Before i knew it, he was diggin in with his hands, watching the drips…

Imageand rubbing them in..

ImageI helped Kierra paint her masterpiece. She loved it..for a bit:)

ImageThen Kobe got to slinging paint and sampling it..and spitting 🙂

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ImageSo we wrapped up our fun little time, dumped the muddied paint colors down the drain, and headed for the shower.

Super simple. Super fun.

(they  made their own Mother’s Day gift without even realizing it:)

Finding Yourself

Of Coffee, Books, and Art

  Oh wonderful Saturday! What more could i ask of thee then slow hours of quiet wanderings with my Man?

   We needed a breather in this daily routine that so rapidly had become a grind….the early morning darkness of leaving for work, the long days of laboring in the elements and toys and dishes and laundry and whining and tears of kids and wondering

if you are doing enough

and when it is too much

and which direction you should target your energy toward next.

The endless medication syringes and feeding pump checks and reordering of formula and feeding bags and oxygen and more medication. The evenings of keeping our One Year Olds  tears at bay and  from totally demolishing our house until he drops into bed, exhausted. The whimpering and tossing of the Two Year Old as she tries to find a comfortable position in your arms, now on the couch, now in her chair, and finally, in her crib, where she tosses and fusses and flails legs wide until she becomes still, and drifts into fitful silence. Then it’s more meds and more mixing of formula and more taping oxygen to sweet cheeks.

So this wonderful Saturday, we took a break for a few hours. There is nothing like good babysitters to comfort your mind as you escape (in the minivan, no less ) to the downtown Lancaster City in the spring. Blossoming trees entwined fragrant limbs overhead. Springtime wafted white petaled fairy breath down the streets.

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Enthusiastic street musicians played joyously.  Winding Way Bookstore, tucked below the row of Art galleries, was quaintly unique and we could have delved among the treasures and volumes for hours.

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Galleries of art opened their stately silent doors for our imaginations, and the Fork and Spoon cafe on the corner offered  a sugar free Dulce De Leche latte on their plain white menu.

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We hadn’t brought enough quarters for a long period of street parking, so we headed out for Barns and Noble to finish of our little date.

He chose the business section.

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I headed for Art. And got sidetracked along the way in Parenting. There was a delightful section specifically for Children with Special needs. I loaded my arms full, and only had time to grab one Art book before we met in the Cafe for coffee, and the most wonderful moist melt in your mouth blueberry muffin.

We smiled and breathed deeply and sipped coffee and broke off crumbles of muffin and browsed good reads, and suddenly it was 3:43 and we had planned to be back by 4:00! So we wrapped up our happy quiet moments and pulled our heads out of books, and headed back to our minivan and our two car seats.

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 And life all looked so much more doable.

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 We were refreshed and energized and heady with new dreams. Nothing like books to set the imagination on its own boundless marathon.

Our two delightful children were all smiles. The world seemed so right again…though nothing had outwardly changed.

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Give yourself a break, my friend! Take a few hours to do something you REALLY love…for we only have this moment today!

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Happy Spring!

Special Kids

I wonder…(little thoughts on Healing)

Wherever He went…in villages and cities and out on the farms…they laid the sick in the market plazas and streets…and all who touched..the fringe of His robe , were HEALED!…(LUKE)

Amazing. Think of the one person (or two or three or more!) in life that you long with all your heart to be healed…and imagine them, reaching out and just one touch…

Imagine!

No more pain! No more weariness.

Joy must have throbbed up and down that line of common folks who were given a whole new life!

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I imagine bringing my little Kierra to Him in my arms.

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Placing her in His. And watching in breathless awe as she picks up her head, looks into His eyes, smiles, and throws her arms around Him in a hug.

I imagine her in my arms, whispering sweet little girl words,

Laughing.

Running.

Eating sweet fresh strawberries.

And I wonder why? Why can’t Jesus be here today…an arms length away?

Close enough to touch.

Close enough to HEAL?

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And then, I wonder..if Jesus really were here…and would gently take Kierra and cradle her close and would ask me if I would let her stay with Him…

He would never let anything bad happen to her.

She would be totally safe,

unbelievably happy.

Completely healed.

How could I ever say ” No?”

 

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So perhaps…that is what death is…

Not so much death …as

Healing

and Life

and everlasting JOY…

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Thoughts On Life

Wet and Rainy Dayyeeoo

Raindrops. A million of them pinging into the wide creek across the green.  And inside, the brightness of spring flowers

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…and LOVE flowers…from the Love of my life…

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24 lovely, pure, heady scented roses! I think turning 28 is going to be OK after all.

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp in the mail from a very dear friend that knew I was longing for the book 🙂 if you haven’t read it yet, it is totally worth your while!!!

And a package of biscotti from another thoughtful friend! How could March get better?

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Then there’s this hyper little guy that is amazed every day at the littlest things…

like fresh bread

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new shoots…

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spring sunshine…

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the Big Creek close by…

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and walking with Daddy…

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and there’s this sweet Big Sister that likes to color…

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and sit tall on Daddy’s lap

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and snuggle with Aunt Karen…

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Jason and Karen come to PA once a month on a jam delivery. It’s the highlight of the month for me! Getting to spend time with my sister is like an energy booster. Especially with her cute little Lauren that keeps Kobe entertained.

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We taught them how to play Ring Around The Rosy 🙂

And did their hair all kooky

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And made doughnuts and just had fun together.

Kierra is getting better slowly but surely. Her last Dr. visit wasn’t as encouraging as I had hoped. She had pneumonia again. She still needs oxygen, and he said it is very likely she will always need a small amount ,especially when she sleeps. We are still hoping she will be able to be come off of it this summer. On the other hand, we need to face it realistically ….Real life is clumsy oxygen tanks and tape on sweet cheeks and nasal canulas that rub her nose and drive her crazy at intervals. It’s always ‘pulling a hose’ along with her and tape that catches hair and keeping the filters clean on her oxygen machine.

BUT!  Her fever is gone, and I keep reminding myself that spring is just around the corner and surely then, she will feel better.

Life is like these doves.

They have these warm fuzzy moments…

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and these not so warm, time out moments…

 

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only to return the next day to do some more necking outside my kitchen window…

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Happy March to you!

 

Special Kids

Gaze. Up.

 

 

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She sleeps so peacefully in her crib…her body relaxed and still. drinking in the beauty of SLEEP!

Then her brother comes full throttle at her with his aggressive loving hugs, and she smiles and coos and tries to wiggle away.

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The sun shines so gently through the window, turning her hair golden and kissing her gently.

 

 

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her gaze to Heaven melts God’s heart…..

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and i wonder if i gaze with such abandonment and trust into His face as well.

The answer is…Not nearly all the time! i get too confused with all the distractions around me, and am ashamed to lift my poor human head to my Creator and Friend…

It’s then that his unconditional Love and Grace reaches out so wholly and covers me. And gives me reason to Hope again. And open my pathetic hand bag of  failures and fears.  insecurities and broken pieces…and let Him give Hope and Joy…..

and LAUGHTER!

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(that’s what he longs for us…Joyful  Complete   Trust)

 

Then I can get back to being a mommy again 🙂

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A preschool Sunday School class sent kierra some money from their offerings. Among other things, we got her some glitter glue sticks and that nice soft blanket in these pictures. Her baby blankets are getting pretty insufficient.

She loved making cards and drawing pictures! her grin was so purely thrilled when i showed her the finished product and told her what a good job she did.

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dare to look into the face of God today…Smile…and feel His love!

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Kid's Fun

February Valentines

Valentines day is one of my favorite days of the year. So favorite, that I celebrate it for weeks 🙂

We received word Friday morning that Courtney Miller (9 yr) had passed away in CO. She and Kierra both were diagnosed with Yoder Dystonia. It was a hard day for me. I can’t imagine how hard it was for Jenny and Erv. Our prayers have been winged their way OFTEN!

Since i couldn’t seem to concentrate on work too well, the kiddos and i baked cookies.

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Kobe ate enough dough for everyone. And Kierra made a special valentine for her Best Daddy!

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Kierra even got flour on her toes 🙂

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Afterward, Kobe sat beside the stove and sang to us.

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he’s such a cheerful little guy. it does my heart good!

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He had to have a bath after the coating of flour and cookie dough.

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Any wonder that I’m nuts about him?:)

The fun thing about two kiddos is  snuggle time watching Old MacDonald.

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And watching them wake up.

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And fall asleep.

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Today, I am thankful for the gift of life God has given us. All we can really do, is seize the moment. Cherish each other. And know that God is there. And There. And THERE. (as i point my finger at each thing that is an issue for me right now.)

He will be there. too. No matter what tomorrow brings.

Happy February! Show your loved ones and your sweet children how special they are.

because this life is only a breath.