Healing Heart

When God Sends His Love

I’ve been sad the last few weeks. Just a rather lonely sad.
Not to worry….there is no one to fault for this:)
There is just a sad ache that wants to hover over my heart. Sometimes this old world has too many aches and pains for our dusty humaness. Its those
days that I try to apply Gods grace in fresh ways and remember that His strength is made perfect in my own weakness of spirit and heart.
The other morning after working night shift, I stopped at Albertonson’s to quickly check for one little item. As usual, I didn’t grab a cart or a basket since I planned to be in and out in a flash. But there were good sales staring me in the face on my first steps inside the door not to mention coupons for milk! So I grabbed a basket and hurried through the store. I was super weary and so very ready to get home to my comfy house. I was juggling a basket, a gallon of milk and a treasured pack of chicken breast when a kind faced gentleman stepped over to me.
He was dressed in clean well worn navy work clothes with the name Frank (i think;) sewn in deep gold script over his left pocket space. He had clean cut salt and pepper hair with a beard . Wire rimmed glasses fit nicely to his inconspicuous face.
“I’m going your way.” He stated kindly. “What may I carry for you?” His open  gesture showed two fingers missing from his right hand and my mind briefly wandered.
I did a double take of him as he stood a respectful distance away waiting patiently. And I suddenly realized how very tired my arms were and how my legs felt so heavy. Trains of thoughts ran through my brain in split second synchrony.
Was he a stalker?
Did he actually mean what he said?
Couldn’t i handle it alone?
But if he OFFERED…why not let him?
I decided to take his offer.
“You may take this.” I  smiled, handing him the milk.
He carried my chicken breast too. And I set off to find my last item.
“I want to thank you for letting me help you.” He stated simply. ” I ask lots of people if I may help them. Usually no one let’s me. They’re all fine on their own.”
I realized if I had not been so weary, I would likely have brushed him off as well with the trite “I’m fine.”
We walked to the front of the store making a bit of small talk. When we reached the checkouts, he kindly placed my items on the belt .
“Thank you so much! God bless you!” I told him.
He just smiled and turned his back to walk away.
I wish I had the presence of mind to see if he vanished. I wish I knew who he was and why he chose to carry a strangers groceries.
But I do know i felt so very very blessed.
It felt like a confirmation from God that He really cared about me and my day. That in my physical weakness He would always give me enough strength . 
I was reminded to believe that His grace is enough. Always enough.


Whether I am slogging through the grocery store, chasing my three year old or missing our daughter… God is there…only a whispered prayer away…and when that seems hard to believe , He might just send me an angel gentleman named Frank.


Partakers Of His Suffering


How deep the Father’s love for us,

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen One,

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

I attended a woman’s retreat recently in the lovely area of Flathead Lake. Bracing mountain air, whispers of wind in pines, snow capped mountain peaks, and delightful lakes tucked in surprising valleys. 


The theme of the retreat seemed to fit well with this Easter weekend. 

Partakers of His suffering….called to Holiness.

When I think of holiness I often think of something beyond my grasp. Something only found in Heaven or the inner sanctuary of the tabernacle. Something I can never attain to. 

I learned that holiness comes from simply giving my life to my Creator. I learned that suffering brings us to Christ….that we might be partakers of His holiness.  I have so much to learn on this subject yet. And part of me wants to hide my face and not look into the depth of it.

 Because it might hurt. And it DOES hurt.

 Because it seems so contrary to my human nature. 

Because I feel so unworthy of a holy, loving God reaching out His grace to me.

We had some wonderful speakers that spoke of pain and holiness and allowing suffering to change us into what Christ longs for us to experience. When we give everything in our life over to Jesus and ask Him to use us for His glory, He sometimes takes us to places we think are absolutely unfair and ridiculous and asking WAY too much of us. I know….I hate to admit that’s how I’ve felt already. He gave His LIFE for me….nothing is too much to give back to Him. But in my human mind, I hold up all kinds of restrictions and requests and appeals and think I know what would glorify God the most and how He should run my life. 

One quote in particular stood out to me ” God does not judge me by the outcome of my circumstances, but by my faith” -Wendy Good

In other words, life may not go AT ALL as you planned. You may have the absolute BEST plans laid out and you are just waiting for the Lords blessing to come pouring out on your amazing plans….and they fall apart. This does not mean God was not in your plans. It doesn’t mean He doesn’t care about you.

As Wendy shared…”we don’t get to pick if we have a happy marriage” 

(yes, we do everything in our power to make it happy, but it’s up to our partner to make it happy also)

We don’t get to pick if our children die. ….

If we are healthy and talented…..

“But we can believe that the life we are living now…

God has a plan for it.

We are not living a messed up alternative.”

And that frees us to live to the fullest. To leave our hurts at Jesus feet. To tell Him about them and trust Him to bring glory to His name …to ‘use our body as a living sacrifice’ . To take our pain and the circumstances we did not ask for in our life and use it for some greater glory. 

Here’s a bit of my testimony. You can paraphrase it to your own situation in life…

Psalm 119:26

“I told You my plans

(Healthy children. Putting roots down and raising a family)

And You answered

(Incurable genetic disorder. Moving across country and trying to find where God wants us)

Now teach me Your decrees!

(What do you want of me, O God?)

Help me UNDERSTAND the meaning of Your commandments and I will meditate on Your wonderful deeds!”

(Look for spots of Life that have Glorified Him and brought PRAISE to His name!)


Just as Wendy brought out…sometimes we let our young children win a game of checkers and sometimes we let them lose…it’s not about the winning or losing….God cares more about OUR CHARACTER then if we win or lose.” 

He really DOES have a greater glory in mind.

 It’s not easy to live this life of giving myself and my Loved ones and my plans to God. But I just KNOW it is worth it. I just KNOW Kierra would agree with me! 🙂

Praying for peace to your heart.

Pray the same for mine? 🙂