Kid's Fun

Painting Rocks For Kierra

This past weekend has marked the two months of missing our little Kierra. In one way, it seems like two years! My little human mind cannot fathom eternity, if two months here on earth have stretched this long! Friends have been so kind to us over the past few months. I’ve had plenty of things to do, and also time at home to remember and grieve and try to come to grips with our new life. Sometimes the lonesomesness and missing Kierra is so suffocating and final. I can also think of her with a peacefully feeling, though. A grand sense of freedom and release and happiness. Because she is truly free and living to her full potential right now. Her body is brand new and her spirit is released to be all she was created to be. As glorious as that is, the hard part is not knowing what that is like. Our little girl has changed and with it comes the earthly limitations on our mind that cannot grasp what she is really like now. Parents want to KNOW there children. They want to be in touch with their feelings and personality and likes and dislikes. I just can’t get my mind around what Kierra is like or what she is doing or experiencing right now. That hurts. It makes me feel shut out and lonely. I just can’t wait to meet her all over again..like a long awaited for, perfect birth. This time, we will ALL be brand new…and can love in a completion we can’t comprehend.

The other day, I had to clear my head, and Kobe needed fresh air, so we wandered down to the creek, and gathered some rocks.

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I washed them and layed on the kitchen window sill to dry. A few days later, Joanna, Crystal, and Alisha came over for the day. We were all in shock from the horrific accident that claimed the life of one of their friends.  It made us miss Kierra also, all over again.

I had just come across a great websight that explained how to crayon paint on wood, canvas, rocks, etc. So we popped the now dry rocks in the oven and  pulled out the crayons and made little memory rocks for Kierra.This was the result.

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I heated the rocks in the oven at about 200 degrees, then we drew on them with crayons. The crayons melted on the hot rocks and created a lovely kind of paint. We used water color paint and paint brushes to add more detail. Then I sprayed them with a clear sealer since I wanted to put them at her grave marker until we get a memorial stone for her.Kobe and I went over to the graveyard on a lovely spring day and placed them by her grave.

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You are my sunshine, SWEETHEART!

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fly happy, sweet one, on the wispiest of wings
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Uncategorized

Praying For The Kuhn Family

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This lovely family is Joe and RoseAnn Kuhns.
They were in a tragic accident last night. It rained all day yesterday. A steady dripping rain. Last night their car lost control, and in an eternal instant, there was an awful crash.

Joe is in the hospital for observation. RoseAnn is in critical care in Lancaster General. Janna, 14, is in Hershey Hospital. ( she is standing on the far right in the back on their picture) Hershey has a Pediatric Trauma Center. I heard she was also in critical condition, but I do not know her status this morning. The other four children were not along.

Jennie, 11, went to be with Jesus.

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I did not get to know their family as well as i would like over the last two years since we were very busy taking care of Kierra. When we did make it to church, I would sit on the back bench beside Kierra and just watching Jennie’s exuberant, radiant smile flashing around was enough to cheer anyone up!

One of the first times i met RoseAnn, i immediately noticed the depth and kindness to her eyes. She asked me how she could specifically pray for me. She cared about people. Her and Joe can to visit us at the hospital when we were there with Kierra more then once. They drove a long way. RoseAnn is gentle radiance. Now she is in Critical Condition. Her family needs her so badly. She has a little three year old that is about Kierra’s age. She helped them be friends.

Please! Join me in prayer for all of them! Especially for her right now. I do not know the extent of her inguries, but she was in emergency surgery last night. Things like this are impossible to understand. There are no words, but God , who hears our hearts when words cannot be uttered, is bending His ear today!

Grief

The Wonderful Pottery Painting

Pottery Works. Lancaster City, PA.
Talk about a really great place to unleash creativity! Kate invited Kobe and I to go along with her and Katrina last week. We had so much fun! It was the first time for all of us, so we were in awe. 🙂
The shop itself is a delightful little space with lots of old fashioned character to it, mixed with bright lighting, shelves of unprinted pottery and high ceilings.
It took us awhile to decide what we wanted to paint. There were so many great options! Tea cups and waffle cone bowls and honey pots and serving bowls and piggy banks and crocks and soap dishes and countless other things. Even a tiny, delicate, adorable tea set!Then there was the big color choices to make. It was delightful!

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We had so much fun, painting, layering and stenciling. Katrina did a cup with a lid, Kate did two little tea bag holders, Kobe did a plate with a train fused onto it, and I did an icecream sundae dish. We had to leave them at the shop so they could be processed through the kiln.

Now today, Kate picked them up again. They turned out lovely. Kobe was so excited with his, he wanted to paint right away again, so I let him. The paint washes off super easy.
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The rubber band is to give his plate a bit of grip so it won’t slide off his desk. He just got this from a wonderful friend whose girls had outgrown it. He totally LOVES it!
My icecream dish came out looking very colorful and a bit amateur, but I love it! I made it especially for Steve and wrote ‘Big guys eat Big icecream’ on the side.
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Oh! Along with a stamp of a city skyline:) He’s a great mixture of ‘elk hunter lover’ and ‘city lover’ 🙂

After our fun time painting, we ladies went to Cafe 18 just down the street for a really great lunch. Kobe slurped his Naked Juice so fast I just about didn’t get any.
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I will totally be going to that wonderful little cafe again in the future, I hope. If you need a bit of spring cheer, go paint yourself a bright piece of pottery,and drink a refreshing Naked Mango Juice! It is totally worth it!
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This pottery painting would be a great project for kids in hospitals or wheelchairs also! Maybe someday I can make that dream come true…
Thanks, Kate! For taking us with you and opening my world to more possibilities and creativity! >

Nature Awakens You

First Day Of Spring

In one way, the longer it goes without Our sweet Kierra here, the worse it gets. Sure, the raw emotion of parting and stroking that silky hair one last time and kissing her sweet tiny fingers is behind us.
But the hard part is…She DOES NOT COME HOME.
We miss her cuddles and smooches and nuzzles in our neck. Her loud happy ‘talking’ from her favorite spot in this tiny house…her bed. Her excited voice when she heard Nurse Jess setting up her spot for the night.
You know all the ‘firsts’ that come with a newborn? Well, there are so very many ‘firsts’ that come with death. The first trip without her. The first visit to Outback Steakhouse. The first time to have friends or family over and not have her here. The first time to church and the first time to town. The first overnight at a hotel where we hardly knew what to do with ourselves because there seemed ‘nothing to do’.
The first time to the park. Like today. On the First Day Of Spring.

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Sadie met Kobe and I at the park after we had picked up coffee at the cute, new little coffee shop down town. We had such a nice time. Talking about everything and jumping from subject to subject, chasing Kobe around, sliding and swinging, talking about Kierra. We all missed her.

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I showed Kobe what the ‘love you’ said and asked him if he knew what the last word said. He laid his head on my shoulder and grinned shyly and said, “Kierra”, in his little two year old voice. I was so proud of him:) he usually asks to write Kierra’s name every time I help him write his own.
I was really struggling with Kierra’s room and empty bed. It felt so hollow and not right. I know that is natural, because that’s what it IS. I almost hated going into her room because it was just so bare and lifeless.
Then Kobe broke his already wobbly crib the other week. We knew we had to figure something else out for his bed. A good friend gave me the great idea to let Kobe sleep in Kierra’s bed.
He absolutely LOVES it…and so do I. I can actually USE the bed again, and it helps soothe the Missing Kierra wound just a bit more.
He insisted on her teddy bears to be with him when he slept in it at first.

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So here’s another first. A sweet two year old in his sister’s bed.
There’s one first I just can’t wait for! The first glimpse of Heaven and Jesus and our sweet Darling Kierra!

Recipes

Simple Strawberry N Cream Filled Crepes

To those of you who requested the crepe recipe. This post is especially for you. I am totally NOT a professional crepe expert, but I absolutely LOVE them, and making them is fun because they act different then any other kind of food. They are just so…crepey.

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So with no more ado…pull out your mixing bowl and nonstick skillet and let the fun begin.

1 1/2 cups milk
3 eggs
1/2 tsp. vanilla or lemon flavoring
2 T. melted butter
1 1/4 cups flour
1 T. Sugar
Pinch of salt

Mix all your ingredients together very well.

It works best to throw them into the blender so they get perfectly smooth, but since my blender is too difficult to unearth, I use an electric hand mixer.

Technically, you are suppose to refrigerate the batter for an hour, but I usually don’t have enough patience.

Heat your nonstick skillet (8 in. works great) over medium heat. Lightly grease it for the first crepe and occasionally while you fry up the rest.

Pour approx. 2 T. of batter into the center of the pan and quickly tilt the pan so it runs all over, evenly coating the bottom of your skillet.
I usually just do this by trial and error. Dash a pour of batter in, and keep in mind that the thinner your crepe, the better. You want enough batter to sufficiently cover the skillet without cracks and holes peeking through.

Cook until the top of your crepe appears dry and you can run a thin spatula ( I use a flexible, plastic frosting knife) under the crepe without breaking it. Flip the crepe over and cook 20 seconds or so longer.

Flip out onto wire rack…or plate. Allow to cool.
And yes, I always put mine in the fridge because I just can’t wait to eat them:)

When the crepes are cool, fill them with whipped cream and slices of sweet strawberries. I LOVE heavy whipping cream, beat to a lovely stiffness, but since I don’t always have it on hand, I improvise with bottled whip cream sometimes.

Oh! And if your first crepes don’t turn out, no worries! Crepe Scraps are even yummy! Who says they have to be perfectly round? 🙂
Keep trying…it WILL be worth it!

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Healing Heart

Sunshine and Shadow

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It all began with this old tree outside my living room window. Amazing how God can use a twisted ugly old tree and humble pigeons to radiate His morning sunlight and reach a hurting heart.

It’s times like this that I wish I were a really good photographer and understand the concept of catching light and shadow, because that is what this is all about.

I was  cold as I watched the sun’s softness spread over the frozen countryside. I sat, huddled on our tiny loveseat, gazing at the little bit of open space surrounding the back of our house. It was the one space where I wasn’t distracted with buildings and houses and silos and stone quarry elevators. The old tree with Kobe’s borrowed baby swing and Kierra’s stretched hammock hanging in it. The remains of a bird feast were scattered black over the ground at it’s knobby trunk.

I felt so very empty inside. Like someone had carved a huge chunk out of my heart and closed the door and left the light off. I didn’t know how or what to feel. I didn’t know if that feeling of ‘nothing’ was even normal.

Then  I noticed the pigeons. Since pigeons are in the Dove family, I think it would be much more gracious to call them Doves. Regardless of the proper term, I will do just that 🙂

A plain, grey Dove was perched high in the ancient budding arms of that old tree.

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Her breast gleamed pink in the soft warming rays of the morning light.

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Her feathers were unruffled. Her bright eyes alert. She was basking in the glow of love, soaking up the warmth.

She was beautiful.

Quite different from her neighbor below her.

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Hidden in the chilly shadows of a slighter tree, shivering and buffeted by the bite of frost, sat another Dove.

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Her feathers were ruffled. Her legs shook with the strength it took to hold on. She sat among the buds of springtime also, but she sat in the shadows. No gentle bathing sunshine for this one!

I could nearly hear her thoughts running though her frozen brain.

I am cold.

But it doesn’t matter.

I have to be tough. I can take it.

I’ll let the higher branches for the other birds.

They deserve the warmth.

I wouldn’t want to spoil their morning view with poor little grey, shivering, ugly me.

I don’t belong up there. 

I don’t want to stick out

because i am afraid

and I am not good enough to sit up high

and enjoy the beautiful view

and warmth.

Yes, it’s best if i just sit down here and tough it out.

That poor Dove! She was so blinded by her own greyness.

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She had no concept of how BIG the tree was. How VAST the warm sun reached. How many empty branches were just WAITING to support her.

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As I sat and watched her shiver, I realized how much I was like her. So many people in life have faced so many harder things then we have. There is heartache and tears and sorrows that run deep grooves into places I have never been.

But this life is not about depths of pain. It’s about trusting God and choosing LIGHT in whatever type or level of pain you are experiencing right now. Give God your pain. Because it will kill your spirit with the weight of it. You were not made to bear it alone.

He found them in a desert land,and in the howling waste of a wilderness. He encircled him, He cared for him,and guarded him as the pupil of His eye. Deut. 32:10

The whole tree top is waiting for us, my friend. We have every right and privilege to go up there and bask in our Savior’s love. We do not deserve it, but oh, how

we NEED a Son of Light and warmth,

we NEED a Protector

we NEED a Savior

we NEED a Gentle Healer!

He is our Creator. Our Father. Our Jesus. Our God.

Our Friend.

The best thing we can do for ourselves and everyone around us is to achingly creak up there on freezing wings and perch on the warmest branch we can find, and let Him love us. Because when He loves us, it’s only then that we can really truly face life. Our hearts can begin to unthaw. Our numbness begin to tingle. Our blood begin to flow again.

Perhaps some cold huddled mass below us will have the courage to come perch with us, wrecks that we are, and bask in His light too.

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The Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him.

Mom Life

Two Year Olds In Tiny Places

Today was good.

And sad.

And healing.

And stressful.

And hilarious.

It’s no wonder I am so very, very tired tonight.

We had quite a bit of formula and medical supplies and equipment that needed a new home since Kierra doesn’t need all that earthly stuff any more. (I wish I could sit for one glorious day (even in the hospital) and just hold her.)

I had contacted The Clinic where we did most of her primary doctoring. They were happy to share her supplies with their patients.

This morning, Kobe and I packed up and headed over to Strasburg for the day. I offered to sort through their donated supplies and label boxes etc for them. It was a tiny way to say ‘Thanks’ for everything they had done for us.

It also was a great way to be able to sift through all the familiars in life that have so suddenly stopped. I felt like breathing in the scent of tape and oxygen canulas and feeding pump bags. Yep, losing someone you love like crazy, makes you a little crazy too 🙂

I felt like those bags of syringes and feeding supplies were my good friends. They were familiar and comfy and soothing.

Quite a different story when I first came home from the hospital with Kierra two years ago and it would take me forever to get anything done and I would spend many precious (rather frustrating) minutes, pushing beeping buttons and staring at the tiny pump screen trying to comprehend what ‘flow’ and ‘volume’ and ‘rate’ meant.

Even the hard things in life can become beautiful and the things that made you ‘unusual’  tendril their way  into your system and suddenly you woke to the fact that they had invaded your whole life and become your friendly, faithful side kicks.

It was comforting and peaceful going to the quiet, low lit, spacious room upstairs in The Clinic. To sip coffee and sort boxes and organize thing in nice ship shop shape. To speak with Doctors and nurses who knew and loved Kierra.

It was healing.

Kobe helped me tear tape, played with play dough, made an escape/ dash down the stairs and all the way to the office, played with toys, and was a typical little two year old.

I love him so much.

It is really hard to know how to handle him right now. His personality has changed more then I was hoping it would. I have a feeling it’s a mixture of new, grown up independence and also the confusion of having his little world rocked. He needs lots of love and attention and positive words since he gets into LOTS of trouble. It’s hard to get the affirmation in between the instruction and correction.

His fun spirit is still there, it’s just a bit lost right now.

Today on the way home from the Clinic, we stopped at a tiny second hand boutique store. I was trying pants on him in a tiny secluded back hallway, since I noticed someone was using the only dressing room. (the curtain was drawn, so that means ‘in use’) How hard can it be to try pants on a two year old? His sock came off, so he had a fit about that, because his toes would get too cold. Then, he twisted around enough to see that he was standing next to a bathroom that I never knew existed. “PEE!” he squealed, lurching toward the open door. I grabbed two armfuls of things as I quickly tried to follow his streaking little self. Of course he easily beat me and was happily putting the toilet seat up and down, saying “there? or “there?” I tried not to notice the grossness of it. shivers…and gingerly put it DOWN. “There“. Then I Sat him on it and scrubbed his hands very well afterward.

Since the store is too tiny for carts, it was a challenge to keep him corralled in my vision (seriously! ONE 2 yr old?) I had to do repeated laps around the two narrow, long racks of clothing to keep track of him.

I looked up from a clothing rack to see no little, yellow jacketed boy close by. The store was very quiet. I stealthily, quickly, whisked my way to the back. No Kobe. I turned the corner to the changing room with a sinking heart.

A blushing stranger held the curtain back and there was my little boy, hiding behind her legs.

“Thankfully, I was dressed,” she smiled bravely. “I told him to go find his Mom and he informed me he was ‘hiding’.”

I am very thankful for the kind graciousness of that girl. She could have yelled really badly.

What could I do but apologize? And tell Kobe that it was very impolite to walk in on people behind curtains and help him apologize. His little ‘sorry’ really was just heart melting though!

You guessed it, I headed for the register really soon.

But Kobe wasn’t finished yet. I didn’t dare set him on the floor when I paid for fear he would streak off again. (seriously, he has a major attention span/energy/hard of hearing/disobeying problem here. did you catch on yet?:)

He wrestled with my wallet because he wanted to pay with money. “No, Kobe. I am paying with the credit card. I didn’t bring money today.”

So he lunges for the hand held price scanner. Two year olds have REALLY strong fingers!

I finally got it away from him. He was laughing hysterically like it was the best game ever. He immediately lunges for the little tagging gun that I had never noticed and wrapped his tiny fingers into knots around the tiny delicate plastic ream of tags. (an odd picture of a fish spine flew through my mind in that awkward detangling moment). I may have shivered.

I left with a whole new level of Mommy Dignity. I’ll leave it to your imagination as to what that means.

I think we will be having some guidiance/obediance sessions in the next days.

You know you are the Mommy of toddlers when you see a bill board that reads “Fully Trained and Obedient In 4 Days” and your heart does this queer little WOW! YES!!!! thing. Only to see the adorable dog smiling happily beside the brazen promise.

I would much rather have a lively two year old ANY day. Even if it takes a life time of loving and exasperation and laughter!

P.S. I forgot to mention the ‘trying to be helpful’ man at the hardware store. I stopped by on a chance that they would have blank stretched canvas (like artists’ canvas). He didn’t think they had any but directed me to the buggy shop close by who might ‘just give me big piece of canvas’. I didn’t have enough patience to rexplain myself so I had to leave before I laughed out loud and ruined his goodwill. There are such different ways to understand words in life!

Grief

Because Life is NEVER Bigger Then God.

We took a little trip down to the hospital to pick up the artwork that we did on the last day with Kierra.

It was nostalgic to say the least. I felt like I was walking in a dream until Kobe broke the silence with his enthusiastic, “See Kierra!” when we pulled into the driveway.

Little children look at life with such simple acceptance and faith. We told him Kierra wouldn’t be here. That she is in heaven. That was OK with him. He didn’t fight or try to reason. He just calmly moved on.

Now we as adults can’t do that as easily. Our questions are so much bigger and broader and deeper. They affect everything in our lives and run through our minds in waves of volume. We are these battle weary, hurting souls that spin a cynical twist to pain. We throw heart tantrums and play ‘not fair’ and ‘get you back’. We aim our frustration and fear and hurt and insecurity at a supposively loving God who we were taught to honor and respect.

It would hurt me very much if Kobe would never ask me “Why?” (or rather, “huh?'”:) If he would never mention Kierra.

If instead, he would go around, raking me over the coals behind my back, questioning every thing I told him that is true.Even that I love him. If he would blame me for all the pain and loneliness in his little life right now. If he would put big black marks on his chart against me and show everyone that I am a scam of a mommy who doesn’t care about him. If he would embrace that chart until the lies become his life.

It would hurt worse then him pounding on my chest, crying out his frustration from a hurting, weary, lonely, confused heart.

Perhaps that’s one reason Jesus said we should become as little children. It’s Ok to ask why. To be alone and sad and hurt and to not understand. To cry out to our Heavenly Father and let Him comfort us. It is not His fault that life hurts right now. Just as Kobe fully believes that we love him and what we tell him is true, so our Father wants us to trust Him.

Kobe could have spent the whole day and all of his energy on a search all over that hospital for Kierra. Instead, he let us pull him in the little red wagon.

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We can do the same. Running ourselves ragged trying to find the meaning to life and questions and that real evidence that we think we HAVE to have. Or we can simply trust God to take us to the answers in His own time and His own way. We can rest in peace that He knows what He is doing. That life is NEVER bigger then Him. We can relax and try to find joy in the little things in life.

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We had to wait for hours until they located the artwork for us to bring home. It was locked away in an office on a weekend or something weird like that. But it was worth the wait. Now we have our fingerprints all over the canvas. It is still waiting on a frame. But, good things take time, right?

Feb

Nature Awakens You

Our Bleeding Heart Snowman :)

This snow we’ve been dumped with reminds me of my New York girlhood.

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Maybe part of the reason I never made many snowmen was because we were so accustomed to snow, we didn’t appreciate it for what it was 🙂 Anyway, snowman crafting was never my greatest talent, so when I bundled Kobe up and set out to make a snowman, it went about as usual 🙂 I am always glad when a kid helps me so I can at least pretend that a kid built the snowman.

  On a whim, I grabbed the red food coloring in hopes of making a valentine snow man. I went a bit wild with it, and afterward realized if I had used an art paintbrush, it would have turned out much neater. Needless to say, we made a heart that immediately began bleeding. It was actually quite appropriate 🙂

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By the time Steve came home from work, the head had fallen off, and the whole front was one solid pink snow hump. He was hoping there was not a drive by shooting involved 🙂 (No, that would honestly NOT be funny!)

Since we had SO MUCH snow, Kobe kept getting stuck. Since it was his nap time, he was tired. Since he was tired, he was grouchy. Since he was grouchy, he cried. Since the snow and sun were extremely bright together, it hurt his eyes. I’d say he was doing pretty good at giving me a kiss! 🙂

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We miss you, Kierra.

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Making valentines cookies wasn’t the same without her. This was last year.

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And this is this year. Some good friends came over and magically created lovely valentine cookies for me. it did my heart good!

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I’m sure Kierra has lots of beautiful, lovely, girlish, valentinesy things in heaven right now.  I bet it’s like valentines day all year round up there. I JUST WISH I COULD SEE IT!

Grief

Kierra’s Funeral

So many kind friends came to show their support and love the evening before Kierra’s funeral.

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Even the sunset was a lovely pink. It was perfect, since Kierra’s favorite color was pink. Although her vision was very limited, it always seemed to catch her eye more then the other colors.

The church house was open for friends and family to come and linger.

A table of with a few of her favorite things was set up close to the guest registry.

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The day she passed away, two of my siblings gave us a little figurine from Willow Tree- ‘Angel’s Embrace’. I think her angel that bore her away on wings to Heaven is still watching over her right now.

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Since harp music soothed Kierra’s restless evenings, we asked The Marinis (http://www.marinimadeharps.com/ ) if they would be so kind as to play throughout the evening. I will always be amazed at how much music helped calm Kierra. We would often play CDs all night for her to help her relax. I can just imagine her thrill at the lovely heavenly music she is soaking in right now.

The harpists were so gracious and kept soft music  in the air.

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Thank you, Emily, Katrina, and Mark!

The following day was the funeral. So many people helped us make this day possible. We wanted to close Kierra’s last chapter in her bodily form with love and music, flowers and sweetness. Through the grief, the beauty was rather lost on us, but we still felt it deep in our hearts and I look back on that day with the feeling of warmth and strength and love and pink. So much pain and so much beauty all combined made a day of immeasurable grief and the peaceful pureness of a child.

Mark and Sadie spent hours on her slide show and memorandum. My family made tiny wild flower favors to pass out to the guests.

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Shawn King led the congregation in singing “Children Of The Heavenly Father” and “Safe In The Arms Of Jesus”

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Merv Fisher and Amos King, the pastors from church, shared also. They both brought comfort and healing to our hearts. It means more then I can say to have these kind folks who we have only known for about two years, pouring God’s grace and their love into our lives. I hope we can somehow pass on all they have given us to others, and that God would bless them beyond their imaginations!

It felt so unreal to be the family on the front bench, mourning the loss of their family member. I felt like pinching myself to see if it was real, but the big hole in my heart assured me of that.

We had an open time of sharing. Everyone that spoke helped to put a chunk of love and peace into my heart again, although the hole will always be a Kierra sized one. Thankyou, all of you!! We won’t forget your kind words!

Steve’s father spoke first. They were missionarys in Honduras for most of Kierra’s life. When they heard Kierra was not well, they prayed for healing. When they learned her diagnose, they prayed that God could be glorified through her life. Over the last year, their prayer changed. They prayed that if God would allow it, they would have a chance to connect with Kierra as a granddaughter before she left us. We traveled to Montana for Thanksgiving and their prayer was answered. Kierra was happy and feeling fairly well.

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I truly think this was Kierra’s time to go. We wouldn’t ever be truly ready, but Stephen and I both felt like it was time to say Goodbye this time when she got sick. It was honestly the first time in her life that I felt like I was ready to open my hands and let her go. I had often given her to God, but a part of heart always begged God to let her stay. This time was different. She had Heaven stamped all over her sweet little face.

Mark and Sadie shared a bit. They were some of Kierra’s favorite people. Sadie wore her beautiful hot pink dress especially for Kierra.

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Our wonderful night nurses both spoke a bit. Kierra loved you ladies!

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Dr. Strauss, who has done a phenomenal job at keeping Kierra comfortable and is still working with other Doctors to research Yoder Dystonia, spoke as well. He is truly an amazing man.

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My father closed with a few poems and the Obituary.

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Then came the heart wrenching part of kissing our daughters sweet hair and face and saying Goodbye to the body we poured so much time and love into. Our brothers carried the small white casket out to the cemetery behind the church house.

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There were wildflowers passed out to the children and friends to place on her grave.

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And now, I can’t resist posting just a few pictures of the children at the service. Their expressions speak volumes.

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After they had lowered the tiny bit of whiteness into the grave, Steve placed the first shovel of earth into the hole. It was his way of giving his daughter back to God, who loaned her to us.

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Kobe wanted to scoop a bit too, so Steve helped him. I will never forget the picture in my mind of my two guys, the brown fresh earth,and the chill in the air.

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It felt like my heart was buried in that dark hole with our little Kierra.

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I am so blessed to have these two guys in my life though.

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We also have a whole host of friends and families to pray for us and love us and support us. Thankyou…each of you!

Kierra’s grave was sprinkled with lovely bright splashes of wildflowers. As I watched the children come up and place them eagerly on the grave, I could imagine how Kierra would have LOVED to do this.

It brings hope.

“The bud may have a bitter taste,

But sweet will be the flower!”

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We are still in the dream, Kierra…

but you are SO ALIVE in Heaven!

We love you.

See you soon sweet one.