This past weekend has marked the two months of missing our little Kierra. In one way, it seems like two years! My little human mind cannot fathom eternity, if two months here on earth have stretched this long! Friends have been so kind to us over the past few months. I’ve had plenty of things to do, and also time at home to remember and grieve and try to come to grips with our new life. Sometimes the lonesomesness and missing Kierra is so suffocating and final. I can also think of her with a peacefully feeling, though. A grand sense of freedom and release and happiness. Because she is truly free and living to her full potential right now. Her body is brand new and her spirit is released to be all she was created to be. As glorious as that is, the hard part is not knowing what that is like. Our little girl has changed and with it comes the earthly limitations on our mind that cannot grasp what she is really like now. Parents want to KNOW there children. They want to be in touch with their feelings and personality and likes and dislikes. I just can’t get my mind around what Kierra is like or what she is doing or experiencing right now. That hurts. It makes me feel shut out and lonely. I just can’t wait to meet her all over again..like a long awaited for, perfect birth. This time, we will ALL be brand new…and can love in a completion we can’t comprehend.
The other day, I had to clear my head, and Kobe needed fresh air, so we wandered down to the creek, and gathered some rocks.
I washed them and layed on the kitchen window sill to dry. A few days later, Joanna, Crystal, and Alisha came over for the day. We were all in shock from the horrific accident that claimed the life of one of their friends. It made us miss Kierra also, all over again.
I had just come across a great websight that explained how to crayon paint on wood, canvas, rocks, etc. So we popped the now dry rocks in the oven and pulled out the crayons and made little memory rocks for Kierra.This was the result.
I heated the rocks in the oven at about 200 degrees, then we drew on them with crayons. The crayons melted on the hot rocks and created a lovely kind of paint. We used water color paint and paint brushes to add more detail. Then I sprayed them with a clear sealer since I wanted to put them at her grave marker until we get a memorial stone for her.Kobe and I went over to the graveyard on a lovely spring day and placed them by her grave.
You are my sunshine, SWEETHEART!
fly happy, sweet one, on the wispiest of wings
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Wildflower Muse 
This is beautiful, Anita. I often think of you, and whisper prayers for comfort. I have not walked where you are walking, but your sweet courage blesses my heart.
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Thank you , Dorcas! I know it is the prayers of people like you that gets me through!
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I stumbled across your blog while doing a google search for something else. I have only read a bit, and will come back to read your full story. I’m writing this with tears in my eyes, and wanted you to know how sorry I am for your loss. My daughter also has a rare genetic disease that was just recently identified, and complex medical issues. My heart breaks for you as a fellow SN mama. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Much love to you and your precious family.
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I am so glad to meet you, Julie! I’ll be heading over to your sight tonight as I sit with a dear girl in ICU who had a brain injury from an accident. You are not alone! No matter what you are facing!
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I discovered your blog when you liked one of my Facebook posts and I got to snooping around on Facebook then. 🙂
Oh my, what a lovely idea this is, to paint rocks in memory of your precious daughter. And I love how you did something with those young girls from your church to help them heal as well. How very sweet and special for both you and them!
I remember seeing your daughter once when I was at your church and being deeply touched by her. I wanted to talk to you and ask questions and learn about her and taking care of her etc. but felt shy. 🙂 But she touched my heart partly because we had a daughter born a little over 3 years ago that died just a couple of hours after she was born due to a rare condition. Had she survived though, she would have required much special care like your sweet Kierra did. And so when I see little children, especially little girls, like that I always think of our Eleni and wonder what it would have been like to care for her.
Your thoughts about heaven here made a lot of sense to me. “As glorious as that is, the hard part is not knowing what that is like. Our little girl has changed and with it comes the earthly limitations on our mind that cannot grasp what she is really like now. Parents want to KNOW there children. They want to be in touch with their feelings and personality and likes and dislikes. I just can’t get my mind around what Kierra is like or what she is doing or experiencing right now. That hurts. It makes me feel shut out and lonely.” You said it so well and put into words what I often feel!
Blessings to you as you continue to miss Kierra! She was a beautiful little girl!
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Thanks for your kind words, Lydia! i was at the Ladies Tea in Gap when you had your talk last summer and really enjoyed it! I’ve been following you ever since 🙂
I didn’t realize you lost a daughter also. The wound will never heal completely until Heaven~! I can’t wait to go there!
Blessings to you and your sweet family!
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thank you!
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