When Loss Overwhelms

It seems when I boldly declare my stand for Christ and His promises, that crafty Satan comes weaseling depressing thoughts and degrading hopeless words into my mind.

This weekend we spent some time with Steve’s folks camping and also some time just with the three of us.

We had a great time but I fought hard to keep fear and doubt at bay and sometimes it felt like I would dunk right under into negativity and that it was just too much effort to pop back up. 

With those feelings came multiple emotions. We received the shocking news of a 21 year old Amish cousin who was hit head on with a car while biking. It was a fatal accident and my heart breaks for his family. I will never forget waking up the first morning after Kierra died and feeling that suffocating grief paralyse us.

Emotions can do that too. Eventually the original struggle has morphed into so many little tendrils that snake entwined together and before you know it you are nearly crying because you haven’t gotten your hammock  hung yet and its already Late July. And you hate yourself for being sad over such a trivial thing.

So tonight after unpacking the essentials from our excursion I took my journal and sat outside at our little retro table and had myself a serving of tears. A main course of writing and frank conversing with God and dessert of slapping nasty mosquitoes.

I read some wonderful reasssuring verses and hung onto Truth as hard as I could.

Then about an hour later the most amazing thing happened. A gorgeous rainbow stretched in the pink hued sun set sky.

And there was no rain even.

Just smoke from far off forest fires. Orange and pink and dark clouds.
And this pastel rainbow.
I smiled.
And felt the glow of Gods love radiate in me. It was true! He loved me.
And maybe- just maybe. Kierra had a rainbow request He filled for her 😉

You can borrow my rainbow today if you are struggling to feel His love.

Its not a great phone picture. But its a promise.

And promises are kept .
Always. By God.
He will never drown us with a flood He cannot save us

from.