Thoughts On Life

Settling West

I know. This is way overdue. I have written this post countless times in my head and every time it says something different. I have so many thoughts and feelings and little moments of Aw. that I’m not sure where to begin.

Let me introduce you to our new surroundings a bit first. We arrived here in Fairfield, MT at our house on a Tuesday night. Traveling had gone excellent with clear skies and no flat tires. There was a cold nip in the air that night. Of course we had forgotten to keep proper jackets/coats out when we packed , but then again, no one expected it to snow, even in Montana, the beginning of September! We shivered in the sharp night air as we unloaded just a few things, digging for our air mattress.

My good friend Meghan had been over earlier in the day to freshen the house up. Her kids made this sweet sign for us. They even included Kierra in our family picture. I LOVE it! I still haven’t taken it down, because almost every day, Kobe happily goes up to it and points at each person and tells me who it is. Daddy, Mamma, Kobe and KIERRA! And hearing him say her name is so good, I just stand real quiet and watch him in his delighted glory.


We crashed out on the bedroom floor that first night and tried to get some sleep for the big unloading day on Wednesday. Steve’s family lives about 2 hours from here, so they came over to help us out.


Kobe was very happy to have some little cousins to play with! We got the trailer all unloaded into the house by lunch time, even with the unusual skiff of snow that welcomed us 🙂 After that it was sorting and organizing and putting things away.

Our house was built quite long ago, but is newly remodeled.  It’s a two bedroom, one bath, with a full basement that could be converted into a bedroom with some love and time. So give us a bit more time…then stop over for the night when you come west 🙂

Our front door.


This is from the street. We are right across from a commercial building. It’s actually a fairly quiet street during the day. Much, much quieter then Pennsylvannia  when it comes to lots of traffic 🙂


These huge grain bins are just down the street from us. Fairfield  is surrounded by ranches. It’s very open country in this part of Montana so there are lots of huge grain fields. That means there is lots of wind as well! Here in town, we are much more sheltered then out on the ranches. That part is nice, but we don’t have the lovely views of the mountains from our house.


This is our kitchen/dining room. These photos were taken over a week ago, so we have done more settling in 🙂 Like buying a stove 🙂

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Our living room…still a bit unsettled here,


and some lovely outdoor scenery for you 🙂

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One day soon after we moved, we were taking a little lunch break out at the old picnic table when a lady from church stopped by with a whole load of free puppies! They were looking for new homes. I am AWFUL when it comes to strays , puppies or kittens. Just ask my poor husband . We gladly took one. I even wanted two ;)…you know, so one won’t get too lonely.

Meet Griffin.

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My biggest grievance is that he howls. What could I expect from a beagle mix????? At least my son has a puppy! He is thrilled with him 🙂

We have been staying super busy. Setting up house is LOTS of work! Trips to town, changing addresses and phones and becoming residence. Setting up with a new bank, and a new internet company and starting a business. The things to do and see after are quite endless. Steve is working part time with construction right now. He wants to do snow shoveling, lawn care, window cleaning, landscaping, etc. We worked on a few jobs the last two weeks. We trimmed a ton of dead branches and shrubbery out of one back yard and transformed another neglected garden. It was HARD work, but so rewarding to see the wonderful difference!

Before… there was no dirt visible. This was part way into our clean up 🙂


and after..


I still can’t believe this is me in Montana going to work with my husband and taking Kobe with us.


Where are the days of sitting in the hospital for a week, holding Kierra, talking with Doctors, chatting with nurses, meeting new people, and missing my little and big guys?


 While I am so very thankful that Kierra is healed, today  i just wanted to go back. Maybe it was the cold and snow and overcast forenoon.

I got out my big photo book of Kierra  while Kobe  slept, and paged through it slowly. I lived in those pages all over. I remembered buying my little red tea tin at Ross one day on a hospital break when I was aching for soothing herbal comfort. It said the famous , “keep calm and carry on” in white lettering. I loved that tea tin. No matter how scary or hectic life got…i wanted to remember to Stay Calm and Carry On.  With God’s help that’s what i’m still doing. Carrying on. My tin is in my new kitchen, reminding me of my brave little girl who carried on when things got really tough in her little life.

We’ve been so busy unpacking and organizing and working, canning apple filling, and celebrating a WONDERFUL adoption (Meghan and Kenton adopted 4 wonderful kids last week!), spending time in Idaho with family, and buying a couch and oven and curtains for our windows. i think of Kierra countless times, but the sadness  doesn’t often hit me until it’s dark outside and the lights are low and I am tired.

 Today was just hard, though. I felt so much better after I took time to sit down and think about all the good times,all the smells and snuggles and things I miss about my little girl.I wanted to brush out her lovely hair and try one more time to create a braid from their impossible sleekness. I wanted to hear her telling stories at night in her bed. I wanted to draw up her 12 medications. I want to change her feeding pump bag and rip open  new oxygen tubing. Sound weird? Well, this is REALLY weird then!

I want to sit in a hospital room. I want to watch numbers on machines and listen to Enya on You Tube and hear nurses walking down the hallway. I want to see silly simple things like the oxygen and suction mounted on the wall. I want to drink bad coffee and nearly gag. I want to stay awake all night in a hospital that never sleeps. Then i want to walk out of those doors, so excited about going home and being a family again. Amazing. How you miss even hard things when they were such a huge part of your life.

Maybe That’s what happens when part of you dies.

Maybe I should be a nurse 🙂

On a different note, one of these days, I am going to write about some things  that are no fun when they happen to Kobe but i love them anyway because it means he is OK. and HEALTHY and ALIVE….so stay tuned 🙂

So long, my friends!


8 thoughts on “Settling West

  1. Wow, you’ve had a lot of changes in your life. I hope your move to Montana is an easy and smooth adjustment for you and your family. God’s blessings on you as you continue to embrace life with all it’s ups and downs.


    1. Aw. Thanks, Dorcas! You are too kind 🙂 I was just telling a friend today that I hope Kierra’s life has made a difference in my own life and others…that all she had to go through was not for no good cause. It does me good to hear that others are somehow blessed though her and what she has brought into our life. God bless you!


  2. Awww!! Your house is so cute! I want to come! Did you know I have never been to ANY of your homes?! It makes me sad. Is that a coffee corner I see? Cute! And I don’t think the puppy looks lonely;). And that garden!!!!! So rewarding but work, yes! Reminds me of our place here when we moved.
    I am so glad you have photos/book of Kierra. And I enjoy being at hospitals too. Of course our stays were full of hope. But it was actually always hard for me to leave then because I’m always feeling apprehensive. Will I be able to do everything the doctors/nurses did plus everything waiting for me at home including children separated from their parents for days?
    I love the picture I get from the wish of trying to create a braid for Kierra.


    1. Beth, I never do get to see your newest nicest place either;) thanks for taking the time to comment! Love to hear from you and know I’m not the only one crazy enough to like hospitals. Lol! Please do come over and drink coffee no maybe I can play with your girls hair;) love you!


  3. Just saw your last two posts and totally devoured them…somehow I subscribed to your blog a while back with our new email address and still am not getting notifications…oh well. Ok, so there is no blogger out there that I can so totally identify with as when you write…I’m nodding and nodding, smiling and crying and feeling it alongside of you! LOVED what you wrote about bandaids…and loving messes. I’ve “accidentally on purpose” gotten extra messy when helping with paint or baking, slopping a little on shirts, just so I have the excuse to change that shirt. I’m so glad I’m not alone in my strange ways. 🙂 And your house is cute, along with Kobe and that puppy. 🙂 I can just imagine missing the hospital, runs to the ER, the sounds of feeding pumps and oxygen…oh girl, know that I care about that giant hole in your heart. You are loved!


    1. Oh I am smiling, Jenny! It does my heart so much good that i was not the only one that ‘accidently on purpose’ made messes 🙂 Thank you for caring and loving! God’s biggest blessing today as you enjoy your little princess in her clean clothing 🙂 love you.


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