Thoughts On Life · Uncategorized

BELIEVE and a Giveaway!

Anita Hochstetler

It’s cold. It’s winter.

IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!

And in just a few days, it will be another thing.

our seventh wedding anniversary.

I think this is the perfect time for a little give away to my lovely friends on this blog! So here it is…

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A Christmas Light Canvas.

Read a bit farther to understand why I chose the word BELIEVE and to see how to enter the drawing to win.

I hope that this winter finds a glow in your heart. The privilege to BELIEVE. even when it’s hard.

A bit over 8 years ago, my Big Guy and I met for the very first time.

I from the East.

He from the West.

Just in case you didn’t know, I LOVE a happy, fuzzy romantic love story. One of our first ‘run ins’ was at the bottom of a Rocky Mountain foothill under a gorgeously lovely moon that was edging the frigid clear night with it’s impossibly soft warmth…..

a perfect set up for some heart sparks to fly.

Instead, I was bleeding red all over the front of Steve’s grey jacket and was convinced that every breath would be my last. That’s what happens when the most lovely innocent toboggan ride with girlfriends ends abruptly.That’s what happens when barbed wire meets face.

Cruel cold steel wired across flesh. And scars were created. It was ugly. And scary. And not at all what I planned.

I don’t believe in omens but do I believe in God’s omnipotent plan for our lives. Sometimes, in my wandering moments, I wonder if God was trying to tell us something way back then. That He makes beauty out of bloodshed. He keeps us breathing when we have no strength left to keep going.That life doesn’t always make rational sense.

Exactly a year after that accident, my heart had come a long way. I was learning trust and love and commitment and laying down silly notions and ideas. (yeah. i’m still working on that stuff:)

One thing was bigger then ever…those lovely heart sparks were flaming higher and hotter then ever! We were getting married!

December 7, 2006

The day I thought I would die.

December 7, 2007

The day I promised my life to the best Big Guy in the world.

happy happy wedding day!!!

(i laugh to think of all the near disasters that surrounded even that day)

The ironic thing was, the year before, I had gone west to teach a tiny school and carve out time with my Heavenly Father and try to figure out some hard questions of life. I wasn’t interested in guys.

But girls will be girls.

And when that true Love steals into your heart no matter how much you try to deny it….well, lets just say I was honored and thrilled!

It’s been seven years. There’s been bloodshed in our hearts. But there’s also been warm hugs that take in all the pain. So much love that pain morphs into beauty.

So many wonderful moments and happiness.

But we still live in a fallen world. As long as we are here, we face it.

Sometimes its hard to BELIEVE.

When I want my way and I don’t want to play fair and I am sure we are heading for disaster. When I let ridiculously small unimportant everyday things turn into a monstrous block wall. When I bang my head against it and wonder why it doesn’t budge. When I misunderstand.

It’s hard to believe.

When life hands me things I never asked for and warps my confidence that God is good. All the time.

It’s hard to believe.

When I don’t know what will happen next in life and it feels like your stuck in the waiting room. And you don’t want to be there.

It’s HARD to believe.

When others hurt and you can’t take away their pain.

It’s hard to BELIEVE!

I never would have believed my life if you had laid it out orderly for me while I was packing my bags for Montana 8 years ago.

It has been so wonderfully GOOD and GRAND!

But it’s also been brutally hard.

(Don’t we all have our own hard battle to face!?)

It is my life. And I embrace it.

Because I believe!

And that’s all because of God, my loving Father, who has PROMISED

(FOREVER AND ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT)

to keep me and never leave me.

My husband. My amazing wonderful Big Guy that has taught me to trust and love and given me a safe place for my heart to come home.

My angel cchildren in heaven

the Wee One we never met,

Kierra Raine.

who’s name is music to my ear

longing in my heart,

hope in my future.

Kobe Xander

who amazes me

challenges me

calls me Mom.

and I love like crazy.

I believe

because God has put so much love and peace and hope in the midst of the blood and tears.

I BELIEVE!

So here’s my wish for you this Christmas.

The chance to experience God.

And believe.

It’s something we must each do for ourselves.

Let me assure you. He will meet you and love you and forgive you.

He delights in you.

Just believe.

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So here’s the deal.

This is a white canvas done in Silver script and snowflakes with 50 lights. It measures 16×20 in. and has easy access to the Christmas light’s plug.

Leave your name in the comments below to enter this giveaway. The winner will be announced on Monday, December 8. 

I will contact the winner for their shipping address and you should receive it in no time at all 🙂

Published by Anita Hochstetler

I'm a country girl at heart who loves coffee shops and bookstores, simplicity and the great Big Wonderful World...particularly Northwestern Montana and it's familiar spots and untamed beauty. It is where I fell in love with my husband Stephen. We brought three children into this world in the following years. Stephen is quiet and steady and crazy all in one handsome combo. He’s got an amazing brain and keeps my flights of fancy from blowing us away. Kierra , our Wildflower child, was diagnosed with NCS before she was a year old. It is an extremely rare genetic disorder with no cure. She passed away in January of 2014 at 3 1/2 years old. Kobe joined us 15 months after his sister and is our sensitive, math whiz child. He is kindhearted and loves the finer things of life. He talks about Kierra often and longs to play with her again. Kyrell is our youngest. Our Hope child. He charges through life with a dynamic spirit and lots of smiles. I share my heart here on these pages and pray they will bless souls far and near.

52 thoughts on “BELIEVE and a Giveaway!”

  1. Oh my dear friend!! I love these words, this post, your romance, etc etc!! Totally lovely!! 🙂 I have watched you walk through some of these years, and I’ve loved your believing spirit every step of the way!! You have inspired me and I’m honored to be your friend!! Love you!

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  5. Always such beautiful words. Your touching memories remind me that I need to document our lives with my little one. I try to remember all of the good days but sadly its the bad ones that push through. I just told her bus driver the other morning, somedays I wake so cranky and depressed. Then I get my Hannah from bed and she’s always smiling from ear to ear. If she can smile through all of her challenges then I have no right to be cranky. My sweet innocent little girl finds love and joy in all she does, then so must I. I worry about having accessible transport for her and a more accessible home, finding a teaching job that will aid my husband in supporting our family. My pastor tells me to have faith, just believe and God will give your family what they need when it is time, when he thinks we are ready. So like you I just have to believe that all of our little girls needs will be met, someway or another. As we celebrate Advent at church and study the Christmas experience i hear God like a personal note. You have been granted this special child for a reason, you dont know it yet but she and you will make tracks in the sand in this big world. Happy Holidays.

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    1. I so know the feelings you describe, Krista!! It is truly so hard to believe that God sees our needs and cares about even the little things when life is so full of HARD! And those bad moments stack up so quickly, I know! Praying with you that God will work out things for you to make it easier to get through even the regular things of the day! And just know in your heart…even when life is overwhelming, that every single thing is filtered through the hand of a God that loves you before it hits you! Grace. Peace. Cheers for being such a wonderful Mommy to Hannah! Hugs …

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  6. Love your writing! Noah and I had our first date Dec. 8 2002, we got married Dec 9 2003. we like to tell people we had our first date Dec. 8 & got married Dec. 9. 🙂

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  7. You don’t know me, but I am friends with Merv and Linda Fisher’s family. I’ve heard bits and pieces of your story and have been so blessed by reading your blog!

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  8. Thanks for sharing your heart so many times, I have so often been blessed to read it…and this post made tears come to my eyes.. I know I have never ‘lost a child to death’ but in my journey i do know what it feel like to not have the strength to believe anymore, and yet at the same time, to believe is the only thing that helps one keep going. It might sound ironic, but it makes perfect sense when you are in the middle of so much pain… peace to you this holiday season!

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  12. This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for having the courage to be real. I would love to win this canvas. 🙂 It would be a great reminder to choose to believe, even when I don’t understand.

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  13. You have such a beautiful gift with words. Thank you so much for this! It made me cry and it gave me hope. Hugs to you during what must be a bittersweet season to you…watching Kobe discover Christmas and missing your little Kierra. ❤

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    1. Thank you,Stefani! It is exactly that…a bittersweet time of the year! You are right. There is so much HOPE. There is HOPE in teaching our kids the wonder of Christmas!

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  16. Kate….O what a beautiful creation!! I love reading your blogs…hearing a bit of what is in your heart…being challenged by your honesty…seeing how God is continuing to draw your heart toward himself…and seeing how life is such a journey to something so much better than our imagination can fathom. I miss you…today was GNC and I was reminded again of how just a few months ago those miles allowed for some great talks…May you sense Jesus’ love for you as you embrace the season for this first time with Kierra in His arms.

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    1. As, Kate! I miss you! And I still think of those lovely talks and the wonderful encouragement you have been to me! It’s such a big blessing to have wisdom and understanding from a woman of God….thanks for letting Him use you! Big Hug! 🙂

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  18. I don’t really know you, although I believe we met once at an Amish wedding in Belle Center, OH 🙂 I read your blog frequently, and you never cease to encourage me! You have been through so much pain, but you continue to shine through it all! God Bless You! I love this canvas, the word Believe with all the twinkling little lights preach a little sermon to me, I may need to go make/buy one for myself 😊

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    1. Thanks, Lois! And yes….by all means, make one! It is like Therepy 🙂 I wish I had a face to go with your name although right now I am drawing a blank…but I’m glad we met:)

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  19. My dear childhood friend, your words are beautiful. I love reading your blog and feeling like I can catch up on some of those years we missed. Happy Anniversary.

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  21. That is a lovely, creative message for all time, but especially in the bleak winter! I am blessed by your faith that shines out despite the bruising, pummeling time you have been through. Shine, Jesus, shine!

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  24. I wish to write a eloquently, lovely, flowing comment, but sometimes like after reading a post like this, my heart overflows in remembering all Jesus has done in my life, even when it was hard to believe, and there just isn’t words or at least I can’t find them 🙂 so a hug to you in my heart, and a prayer. Because Believing is what turns the heartache into a blessing when you look back on it . Love you, Dorcas

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  25. Hi Anita! Altho you dont hear from me I thoroughly enjoy your blog! It’s a blessing to have an outlet when we are going through difficult times. It can reach others as well. Mine is not writing but reading is. You spoke about your sledding accident which I had forgotten about. If you feel like it sometime I would like to be refreshed on it.In your blog or whatever. Be Blessed, Linda Beiler

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