Remember when your hope is lost and faith is shaken
Remember when you wonder if you’re going to make it.
There’s a hand stretched out through your deepest doubt.
We can’t pretend to see the ending
Or what’s coming up ahead
Don’t know the story of tomorrow
But we can stay close to the One who knows.
We can trust our God
He knows what He’s doing.
Though it might hurt now
We won’t be ruined.
He’s holding onto you and me
And He’s never going to leave.He is with us.He is with us.
There is purpose
There is meaning
We surrender to His leading
He wants nothing more than to have us close.
Our faith is sealed
Our hope is real.
Come what may
We’re not afraid.
He is with us!
-song from the album Love and The Outcome
Somehow when one sees the giant sculpting of our Creator; one knows without a shadow of a doubt that He is totally capable of caring for every detail in our lives.
No matter that we have no idea what breathtaking event awaits around our next corner. He will be there and He really does have a plan.
Our lives are not just random events strung together.
We are incredibly loved.
We went to Glacier and for Father’s Day. I’ve been saving up money quite awhile for something special and I couldn’t think of any better way of spending it then giving my wonderful guy a little paid vacation. He has worked so hard and sacrificed so much for us all over the last years.
We stopped beside Going To The Sun Road with Heaven’s Peak in the background for a little family picture.
I wish we could have actually glimpsed into heaven for awhile but the clouds soon rolled in over the Rockies. We just carried our Wildflower Girl in our hearts and lived in the moment and enjoyed the wonderful clear mountain air scented with pine and glacier water.
This spot reminded me of what I imagine the Alps look like. I could picture Peter and Heidi from Heidi herding their sheep, picking wildflowers and eating bread and cheese with swigs of fresh goat milk.
The spray of clear fresh water would dance over us and Kobe would squeal with delight.
All I could think as we drove through such incredible VAST beauty was the song, “How Great is Our GOD!!!”
Rest my soul. Rest and worship.
There is no reason to fret about tomorrow. He’s got this.
My mind has been spinning me in circles lately and I am weary of worrying and wondering and waiting and questioning if God is even listening. I’m weary of missing Kierra and not talking about it more and I’m weary of not WANTING to talk about it more. And I’m afraid that everyone will TRY to talk to me about it and I have no idea if i even WANT to talk about it. (I hope no guys have to read this ‘mad woman’ scramble of thoughts. LOL)
Grief is so very contradictory for me. I did not know that feelings of sad and happy, hate and love, can flow so near each other. (Perhaps hate is a bit of a strong word but right now I can’t think of a better one :) I HATE missing Kierra but I LOVE how much I love her. Sadness and happiness intermingle until they become so entangled you can scarcely survive without either one of them. Then comes the moment of fear when you know memories and the life that was yours is slipping away and a new chapter is breaking and you are paranoid you can’t go back but more paranoid to move forward and totally paranoid to hold still.
And it was in a moment like this that I heard the song play that I typed above. It called my heart to God and His unfailing Heart of Love. Answers do not need to come in tidy packages with a specific map to show the way. They come by simply trusting. And moving one step forward at a time. Knowing that God will most likely surprise you with more joy and heartache then you ever imagined. And knowing it will totally be worth it. Because He has an absolute GLORIOUS plan in mind! and He will NOT RUIN His children!